Sep 29, 2009

Really Random

First, some little facts:

Kittens can clock an amazing 31 mph at full speed and cover about 3 times their body length per leap.

The human brain continues sending out electrical wave signals for up to 37 hours following death.

An average bee hive has 30,000 to 60,000 bees living in it. This population is easily maintained by a queen laying 1,000 to 3,000 eggs per day.

Elephants and short-tailed shrews get by on only two hours of sleep a day.

Roulette was invented by the great French mathematician and philosopher Blaise Pascal. It was a by product of his experiments with perpetual motion.

* * * * * * * * * *

How much is your body worth? You're worth more than you think!

A great number of people have spent a great deal of human and financial resources calculating the composition of, prior to the decomposition of, and the worth, or worthlessness of, the human body.

When we total the monetary value of the elements in our bodies and the value of the average person's skin, we arrive at a net worth of $4.50!

This value is, however, subject to change, due to stock market fluctuations. Since the studies leading to this conclusion were conducted by the U.S. and by Japan respectively, it might be wise to consult the New York Stock Exchange and the Nikkei Index before deciding when to sell!

The U.S. Bureau of Chemistry and Soils invested many a hard-earned tax dollar in calculating the chemical and mineral composition of the human body, which breaks down as follows:

65% Oxygen
18% Carbon
10% Hydrogen
3% Nitrogen
1.5% Calcium
1% Phosphorous
0.35% Potassium
0.25% Sulfur
0.15% Sodium
0.15% Chlorine
0.05% Magnesium
0.0004% Iron
0.00004% Iodine

Additionally, it was discovered that our bodies contain trace quantities of fluorine, silicon, manganese, zinc, copper, aluminum, and arsenic. Together, all of the above amounts to less than one dollar!

Our most valuable asset is our skin, which the Japanese invested their time and money in measuring. The method the Imperial State Institute for Nutrition at Tokyo developed for measuring the amount of a person's skin is to take a naked person, and to apply a strong, thin paper to every surface of his body. After the paper dries, they carefully remove it, cut it into small pieces, and painstakingly total the person's measurements. Cut and dried, the average person is the proud owner of fourteen to eighteen square feet of skin, with the variables in this figure being height, weight, and breast size. Basing the skin's value on the selling price of cowhide, which is approximately $.25 per square foot, the value of an average person's skin is about $3.50.


So now you know! :-)

2 comments:

Jamie D. said...

Hilarious!

And no wonder we mere mortals can't catch a speeding kitty...

C R Ward said...

I'm such a mine of useless information. :-)